I Promise I'm Not...

   Ignoring you on purpose! 

I know this excuse is as old as the hills, but I honestly mean it when I say, my life has been CUH-RAZY!  

Things of note before I rush out the door this morning:

• Work has been very, very, very busy.  This is a good thing, of course, more business means more revenue, more revenue means more job security... you know.  Anyway, I've been working a lot more than I normally do.  So, that's part of my busyness.
• Also, My parent's kitchen is being re-modeled as we speak.  This adds a whole new level of interest and complication.
• I've been working in my yard, it's that busy time of year when the weather turns warm, the perennials start coming up and I start frantically trying to get a lot of things done all at once.  I've already made one trip to the greenhouse and anticipate several more.  :)
• This weekend my brother and mom are out of town at my brothers speech tournament.  Pray for him if you think of it.  Of course, I think he's amazing and should win every award they've got to give.  But, I suppose every family member feels that way.  
• Due to the ^ above reason I've been helping out with watching the two littlest siblings, Luke and Sarah Beth.  Yesterday they came to work with me for a little while.  Luke organized practically every roll of ribbon in the place.  This is not an easy job, let me tell you, but he rose to the challenge and even gave us all a great motivational speech about "Never giving up" and "What do you do when you're stuck and you don't know what to do?"  Sarah Beth answered easily that of course, you "Call Mom."  Which I thought was a great answer, but turns out the answer he was looking for was "Ask God to help you."  Which is also a good answer.
• I have not been getting much reading done, sadly.  
• Going to visit Grandparents this weekend and plant some flowers for them.  Then home again bright and early Sunday morning to make it in time for church and Luke's spring choir concert.  
• My sister Katie is working on her Senior Violin Recital.  That will be on Tuesday and then...  after that....  
• I think my life will slow down again.  
• May, come soon!!!!!

Sister Pictures

 First, me and Sarah Beth. We both look semi-hammy, but happy.  Right?

   Susie joined us.  We took many pictures.  All of which were variations on the theme above.  Basically, Susie and I sandwiching Sarah, smiling sweetly.  Sarah in the middle looking...  everywhere but at the camera.  

We finally gave up. 

Pickle Pizza

  Pizza Crust for one pizza.  You can find my current favorite pizza crust recipe here.


Now the good part.  :)

Toppings:
1/2 jar of spaghetti sauce
1/2 lb. ground sausage, cooked and drained
Black Olives, sliced
1/2 Onion, sliced
Pepperoni
Baby Dill Pickles, cubed (make sure the cubes are nice and chunky, don't use sliced pickles, they HAVE TO BE CUBES. :)
Shredded cheese.  I like a combination of Mozzarella and Cheddar. 

And that's it.  Layer it all on.  Bake it according to the directions for your crust.  Enjoy.

You've gotta admit... once you've tried pickles on your pizza, you wonder why Pizza Hut hasn't started selling them this way, yet.  If you don't believe me ask Stephanie.   I asked her "Do you think this recipe is good enough to post on my blog?"  She answered "uh huh" immediately, no hesitation.  And she had to say "uh huh" because she had pizza in her mouth and couldn't use real words. :) And then she posed for a picture.  See how she's enjoying it? 

Luke Comes to Visit

    
He kept us very well entertained.  :)

My Jesus, I love Thee

   
My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee all the follies of sin I resign;
My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

 

I love Thee because Thou has first loved me,

And purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree;

I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;

If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

March Book List

  

22.  Forest Born by Shannon Hale -(****) Really good. Maybe the best Book of Bayern yet? :)

23.  Poirot Investigates by Agatha Christie- (****) Short stories.  Nice.

24.  Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale - (****)  I'm a stickler for opening lines.  If the first sentence of a book can jump off the page and get my attention... I'm hooked.  This one starts "My lady and I are being shut up in a tower for seven years."  Who wouldn't want to read this book?!!?!?  This one is a re-read for me. I first reviewed it HERE 

25. Fairest by Gail Carson Levine - (****) As fairy tale re-tellings go this one is both really good and really bad.  Bad because it really doesn't follow the plot of Snow White at ALL.  It's what I'd call "very loose-ly based" on the original.  However, on it's own, Fairest is quite charming.  The characters are love-able (or, despise-able depending on the character).  It's the kind of fantasy I can best tolerate.  Fantastical country, Ogres and trolls exist, fairy god-mothers... but not an excess of magic.  I didn't love this one as much as Ella Enchanted... but it's the kind of book I'll probably buy and keep on my bookshelf.  

26.  Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris -(*****)  Excellent.  Must read for EVERYONE.  Full of challenges and encouragement.  The book is geared towards teens but we read through it in my Bible Study (which is made up of mostly 20-somethings) and we enjoyed it and learned a lot. 

27.  The Two Princesses of Bamarre by Gail Carson Levine-(***)  Remember I said that I didn't like an excess of magic?  Ok, maybe this book didn't have an "excess" of it, but there was enough.  Mostly due to a main character being a sorcerer.  He seems to perform mostly the parlor type of magic, and he's a good character, but the term "sorcerer" still makes me uncomfortable.  The story itself was very nice.  I found myself thinking about it even after I was done reading it.  Always a good sign. 

28.  Death in the Air by Agatha Christie -(****)  This ending caught me completely by surprise I have to admit!  And while I do love it when that happens... I also love it when everything works out the way you want it to.  Which didn't happen.  So...  Do I love that I was surprised more than I hate that the ending was disappointing?  That is the question. 

29.  Busman's Honeymoon by Dorothy Sayers -(****)  Pretty much amazing.  Re-read, but better the second time.  :)

30.  When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead- (***) Book Review HERE

31.  This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti - (****) Entertaining.  :)  Good look at spiritual warfare.  
 

90 Day Challenge

Are you ready for the challenge?

Can you read through the Bible in 90 Days?
YES you can!!!

Over the next few weeks the IDD blog will be posting a Bible Reading schedule that will get you through the entire Bible Genesis to Revelation in 90 Days.  I can't encourage you enough to take up this challenge.  I did it a few years ago, and I've never regretted it.  Never.  Probably the best 3 months of my life.

And it's totally do-able!  It takes about 45 minutes of reading time a day, depending of course, on how fast you read.  Some days I had my reading done in 30 minutes, some days it took a little longer, but it was never more than 45 minutes.  It worked best for me to just read whenever I had a chance during the day.  5-10 minutes in the morning as I ate my breakfast, a few minutes again at lunch, and whenever I got a chance during the day or at night right before bed.  If I had extra time, I would read ahead because of course, there will be days that are crazy start to finish and you won't have as much time.  And surprisingly enough I still had plenty of time to do my other recreational reading as well!

We'll be posting the weekly reading schedules every Sunday, starting this Sunday, April 4th, 2010.
Will you join me?

Grow in the Word!  Take the Challenge!
   

New Look for Spring!

   Well, we've been working hard on the new spring look!  (Not that hard actually, we had a photo shoot, which was very fun :)
   Anyway, here it is!

Book Reveiw: When You Reach Me, by Rebecca Stead

When You Reach Me is the  2010 Newberry Award Winner.  

It is really hard to review this book without giving away plot points.  Because, really, the best way to read it is to have absolutely no idea what you're getting into.  Half the brilliance of this plot is the reader trying to figure out (right along with Miranda, the 12 year old main character) what in the world she's supposed to be figuring out.  

Set in the 1970s it's something of a mystery, with coming of age elements, and a little sci-fi thrown in for good measure.  And really, I don't know what else I can say without ruining it.  I'll just move on to the other things I wanted to say. 

I have mixed feelings about Newberry books.  One the one hand, I expect great things from a Newberry Award Winner.  They're supposed to be awarded to the "Most Distinguished Contribution to American Literature for Children."  So, I have high expectations.  Which is maybe not the best frame of mind to be in when you open a book.  It just makes disappointment all the more likely.  

To be clear, I have not read all the Newberry books.  I haven't even read most of them.  Which is why I'm making "Read As Many Newberry's As Possible" one of my goals this year.  

To date I've been much more familiar with the Newberry Award books of an older era.  The Witch of Blackbird Pond, Johnny Tremain, The Whipping Boy...  Books that make you understand the meaning of the phrase "Most Distinguished Contribution."  Books that really DESERVE that kind of medal by teaching valuable lessons.  Books that have made an impact on society.  I can't say I see those sorts of qualities in the more recent Newberry winners.  But, it's too early to really make that judgment yet.  

On the other hand, well, I believe there's been a sort of "dumbing down" of American Culture.  So, when I pick up a book with a shiny gold sticker on the front of it, I'm simultaneously preparing myself for something above average, and at the same time something significantly less of a product then say, for example, The Bronze Bow by Elizabeth George Speare (1962 Newberry). 


So, with all that in mind, here's my thoughts (and remember it's all just my opinion).

First off, I hate it when there's language in kids books. HATE being a strong word, but yes, I really mean it.  It aggravates me immensely that a book with language can be considered "Most Distinguished Contribution."  I will readily admit that nothing in this book is not something any child could hear by turning on the TV or walking out their front door.  Swearing has become a part of our culture and I myself hear it often enough that I'm beginning to become immune to being bothered by it.  Which, in itself should bother me more.  The most aggravating part?  That this sort of thing has become so common that we are now handing out prestigious awards to children s books with language in them when 30 years ago, that very element would likely have excluded a book from even being considered for such an award.  

I also grimaced a bit over the romance elements.  We're reading about 12 year olds.  Come on.  Do they really need boyfriends and girlfriends?   I won't go into that now.


But, on to the good things.  I have good things to say, I promise.  :)  I am a huge fan of  minimalism in words.  It's all so... natural.  Like seeing everything for yourself instead of through someone else's eyes.  So, I like Stead's writing style.  A lot.  I liked the whole format of the book.  Short chapters, just enough information to make everything necessary crystal clear.  Not a lot of word-y stuff clogging up the pages.  As the Newberry judges said: 'Every scene and word is "vital to the plot."'  Um, YES.  :)  I love that.


I'm kind of in awe of this book.  I'm surprised that I was surprised at the surprise ending.  :)  I'm loving the little glow in my chest that means I just read something special.  


But, if we're being totally honest, than yes, I enjoyed the book.  Yes, I'd probably recommend it if it weren't for the language.  But, would I have given it a Newberry?  No.  Probably not.  I think Newberry's should teach something; make a difference, or at least an impact.  


When You Reach Me has it's profound moments.  Like when Miranda observes that  "Trying to forget really doesn't work.  In fact, it's pretty much the same as remembering." Or when Belle says "It's simple to love someone.  But, it's hard to know when you should say it out loud."  (But, in all fairness, Stead is really just stealing that from the climax of another Newberry Book A Wrinkle in Time.  She even says so.)  And there's the whole self-sacrificing element.  And the taking responsibilities for your actions element.  All very good stuff.  

On the whole, a very nice way to spend a couple of hours on a Saturday morning.  In your pajamas, of course, because as Stead also says "Pajamas are good for the soul."  I'm totally with her on that one. 

It's been WAAAYYY too long

  Way, WAY too long since I posted anything on this blog. 

If I'm being totally honest, I don't really have an excuse.

But, let's see if I can find something interesting to say.

I've been busy working on a website for my flower shop.  :)  It's coming along bee-yoo-ti-fully! :) 

My book buying obsession has gotten out of hand.  Well, not really, but it has gotten to the point where I've had to buy another bookcase.  And re-arrange my entire room to make room for it.  So, that was fun.  Or not.  I now own a grand total of 370 books.  Enough?  Of course not!

My parents are having their kitchen remodeled so we packed up a lot of boxes yesterday.  That was fun.  :)

And...  I've been mildly obsessed with cleaning my house.

That's it.

Hope you're all having a wonderful day! 

It's a BEAUTIFUL day

   In my neighborhood.  :)

60 degrees in March?  This canNOT be Wisconsin.  :)  Usually it's snowing this time of year.


Anyway, it's such a lovely thing to be able to open the windows.  And air out the house a little.  And such a strange feeling to get into my car to go to lunch and find that it's actually WARM in the car.  To need sunglasses when I'm driving home from work. 



Beautiful, beautiful. 

Proverbs 31:23

Her husband is 

known in the gates, 

when he sitteth among the

elders of the land.

-Proverbs 31:23

If you're anything like me you read this verse and skip right over it.  You think " 'husband' ok, don't have one of those, this verse doesn't apply to me."  But, since my study right now is causing me to look at the Proverbs 31 Virtuous Woman through different eyes  I'm starting to see things a little clearer.  I might not have a husband NOW, but I certainly would like to have one sometime in the future.  So, how can I prepare for this now? 

The first thing I noticed here was that this entire passage of scripture is about the virtuous woman.  Not her husband.  There are only a few places where her husband is even mentioned.  But, even then, those verses aren't talking about HIM.  They're talking about what her relationship is with him.  So, I think we can assume that even though this verse is talking about a husband, there's something for us to learn from it.  You've heard the saying "Behind every good man is a good woman?"  I'm not saying that's completely true.  And I'm not trying to peddle a feminist agenda.  :)  But, the basis of that idea is that if a man is good, chances are pretty high that his wife is supportive and kind. Encouraging and a good influence.  She probably isn't like the woman mentioned in Proverbs 21:9 and 21:19.  "It is better to dwell in the wilderness than with a contentious and angry woman."  Ouch. 

The Husband mentioned in this verse is a respected and well-known man.  He has a good reputation.  Do you think he built that reputation all on his own?  He could certainly do that and if he were single he would have only himself to concern with the upkeep of that reputation.  But, we know for a fact that he's married because this verse calls him a husband.  So, that got me to thinking about what kind of wife a respected man like that would have.  I have an excellent example right in front of my nose.  My own father is an elder in our church.  He's also a business man of good reputation in our community.  His wife (my mom) is supportive, encouraging and does an excellent job maintaining her own good reputation which in turn reflects well on my dad.  It always helps me to look at things in the converse.  So, I tried to imagine what my Dad's business and church responsibilities would look like if my mom nagged at him all the time.  To be honest, I had a hard time imagining my dad even wanting to be a well known person if he constantly had to be dealing with a contentious and angry wife.  I've been at many community events and watched my dad proudly introduce his wife to everyone he meets.  What if he didn't want to introduce her because she was such a negative person?  What if he introduced her to people and rather than smiling and being friendly she was rude?  My dad's reputation would suffer for it. 

In a conversation with our own Valerie the other day she mentioned that she felt that a lot of guys might be intimidated by the kind of man that most of us girls are looking for.  This led to a discussion of what kinds of qualities we should expect to find in a good husband candidate, which of those we should reasonably expect to be matured qualities (like a heart for the Lord) and which character qualities we should only reasonably expect him to be in the process of developing.  After all, it takes many years to iron out and develop a Godly character.  I'm certainly not perfect and I would hate to feel that I'm being passed over as a good marriage candidate because I'm not perfect.  During the conversation I mentioned that I wasn't looking for someone who was perfect.  Just so he had a willing heart and a goal about what kind of man he wants to become.  I'm totally willing to provide encouragement to help him get there!  I'm a good encourager!  And that kind of encouragement is exactly what I need in my own life!  I know who it is I want to be and I'm working on reaching  my goals.  A little encouragement along the way would be just splendid.  :)  But, I digress...  The point is that if we have expectations of what kind of man we're looking for as a husband, we should expect that the guys also have expectations about what kind of women they are looking for in a wife.  And, if we expect to marry a certain quality of man, we need to be worthy of him. 

The husband in this verse is a leader among men.  Before he was married, what kind of woman do you suppose he was looking for in a wife?  What kind of character traits do you suppose appealed to him?  Should we assume that he married a run-of-the-mill girl?  Or, that he married a girl who had the makings of being a strong, responsible, well respected women?  We have a joke in our house and it takes a little bit of explaining.  My dad is in a group of men at our church that we often refer to as "The Elders" :)  The elder's wives are usually referred to as (creatively enough) the "Elders Wives."  My mom has always encouraged her daughters to be strong women of God, leaders of our peers, encouragers and wise counselors.  She set for us the goal of being the kind of women that would be good wives of good men.  The kind of men that hold positions of leadership in their communities and churches.  She called us "Elders Wives in Training."  Or, as we quickly nick-named it "E-WITS."  It's funny, and we laugh when we talk about being "E-WITS" but the principle is a good one.  We should be preparing now to be the kind of woman that are well-equipped to encourage a man who is "known in the gates."  Be worthy of what you desire. 

Luke Swims

   

The Luke-man's final swimming lesson was on Saturday.  He invited/begged the "WHOLE FAMILY" to come and watch. 

This is him doing the butterfly stroke, I think.  It's really hard to tell, the camera on my phone isn't spectacular and it has a delayed reaction.  I snapped the shutter when his head was in the air and he had the cutest little concentrating look on his face. But, obviously, by the time the picture was actually taken he was back in the water.


SO cute.  :) 

It's quite impressive really.  I suppose maybe a lot of kids grow up learning how to swim but I never learned.  I do a version of doggy-paddle and can do a backstroke (I think) but I can't tread water, float, or do a cannonball off a diving board into the deep section of the pool.  And I certainly can't dive for rings.  (How do you go DOWN into the water anyway?  I could never do it.) 

Luke did all of those things on Saturday.  And he was even relaxed enough to stop and wave at his adoring fans every 2 minutes.

Chicken Pesto Pizza

Ingredients:
Pizza Crust for one pizza 
Feel free to use your favorite pizza crust recipe, or frozen bread dough or Boboli... or whatever.  I'm still searching for the perfect pizza crust, but I have to say, this one was REALLY good for a non-yeast crust. 
Here's the recipe I used:

• 2 cups flour
• 1 Tbsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 2/3 cup water
• 1 Tbsp vegetable oil.

Mix the dry ingredients first (I also added a pinch of brown sugar here because I was in the mood for a sweeter crust.  It doesn't take much, a tsp. is fine.  And the tiny bit of sweet really contrasts nicely with the saltiness...)  Then combine the water and oil and mix it all together.  I used my hands to knead it into a ball and then rolled it out right onto the baking stone.  You might need a tad bit more water.  But don't overdo it.  Just a sprinkle at a time until it's the right consistency and it sticks together. 

Toppings

• 1 Chicken Breast, cubed and cooked
• 3/4 Cup Pesto (I grew a huge basil plant last summer and Mom made a bunch of pesto from it.  I still have some in my freezer. :) )
• 1/2 Onion, sliced
• 5 Mushrooms, sliced 
• 3/4 Cup shredded Mozzarella Cheese
• 2 Roma Tomatoes, sliced.

Spread pizza crust with pesto sauce.  Then layer the ingredients in whatever order you like.  I suggest finishing up with cheese and then tomato.  Bake at 400 for 18-20 minutes.


SO yummy.  :)

Book Review: Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley

  
Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley

I give this book 5 stars and 2 thumbs up.  That's how much I loved it.

Carolyn writes from her own experience and her honesty is touching, humorous and in some instances even heartbreaking.  But mostly her honesty is inspiring, level headed and REAL.


Who would've thought reading a book on a subject I personally struggle with written by another woman struggling with the same thing could be so encouraging and uplifting?


I was especially pleasantly surprised to find the author addressing the topic of the Proverbs 31 woman especially relating to single women.  This is a topic the IDD Blog has recently been studying.  I found her insights to be invaluable.


I recommend this book to EVERY woman aged 15-95, married or single.  Even though it's primary focus is single woman, Carolyn points out that single woman are just woman, who happen to currently be single.  Her encouraging words apply to women in every walk of life.

You can find more of Miss McCulley's work at Boundless

February Book List

15.  Crooked House by Agatha Christie - (****)  Kind of creepy, I gotta admit...

16.  Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman, These Three Remain by Pamela Aiden - (****) It kind of surprises me how much I like this book.  Some parts of it I like very very much.  Other parts, not as much.  I admit I skipped some.  I got a little bored reading so much about Darcy's feelings... ho hum.  Great ending though.  Of course. 

17.  Sarah, Plain and Tall by Patricia Machlachlan -(*****)  Proof that a story doesn't have to be word-y to be poignant. 

18.  The Cat-Nappers by P.G. Wodehouse -(****) Like all Wodehouse's works, hilarious. 

19.  The Way Home by Mary Pride -(*****)  Excellent.  I've been reading a lot on the feminist movement lately and the role of women in the home, church and society.  I'm not done researching (maybe never will be?) Mary Pride has some excellent things to say.  A lot of my opinions have been refined by her insight. 

19.  River Secrets by Shannon Hale -(***) Not my favorite Bayern book... but, still really good!

20.  Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? by Carolyn McCulley -(*****) Review coming soon!!!  For now, I'll just say LOVED it. :)

21.  The Mystery of the Blue Train by Agatha Christie -(****)  Pretty good.  :)

Monday, Febuary 22nd, 2010

    Happy Monday!

My sister  Susie was kind enough to point out the other day that "You haven't been publishing on your blog much." 
Thanks for noticing.  :)

So, I'm going to try to make an effort to post more.  There are days (like today) when I really don't have anything to say.  At least there's nothing on my mind right now that I want to share.  But, I'll try to just at least say hi and talk to you all anyway.  I hope it doesn't get boring.

Last week was a little crazy at work.  We were slow at all the times when we were caught up and had plenty of people hanging around, and busy at all the wrong times.  My co-worker who I work the most with has been on vacation the whole month of February.  It's made things interesting... :)  But, it's all good.  Things always seem to work out somehow at the flower shop no matter what the problem is. 

Anyway, I'm off to work.  Then home to do my laundry and clean the bathroom.  I also borrowed Mom's vacuum, so I'll vacuum the living room today.  Our vacuum cleaner has been out of commission for a long time now, so once a week or so I borrow Mom's.  Thankfully she has one of those 8 lb. Oreck's so it's easy to toss in the back of the Dawn Treader.

And THAT is how exciting my life is today. 



 

To Die For Blueberry Muffins

   And they're not even kidding...

RECIPE courtesy of my lovely friend KRISTA of the IDD Blog.

Luke and Sarah B. Must Have Found the Wardrobe....

   Because it sure looks like they're in Narnia!

Photo credit/photo-shopping goes to SUSIE and there are more pictures on HER BLOG so check it out!!! 






 

Self Confidence (or The Lack Thereof)

I've struggled with low self-confidence my entire life.  I'm a natural introvert.  As a child I was never more than an arms reach away from my mom and often so close behind her that if she stopped suddenly I would run into her.  If someone spoke to me I answered in monosyllables and hid my face.  When I was eleven we joined a Bible club at a local church.  I cried and my mom had to stay with me the whole first night.  Even at age 18 I made multiple excuses not to make phone calls.  I was terrified to use the phone.  I stayed home when I was invited to parties with excuses of "headaches.  Actually, the truth wasn't far off.  I got instant headaches at the thought of socialization.  There were times that I cried for hours before going to a social gathering merely because I didn't want anyone to look at me.  If they looked at me I knew they would know what a failure I was.     

When I went to work at the flower shop I had to do major overcoming.  I had to drive to people's houses and knock on their doors!  Let me tell you, though, when you walk into an office building carrying a bouquet of flowers EVERYONE looks at you.  But, surprisingly they aren't thinking "Who is that strange girl and what is her problem?"  They're thinking "OOOO.... I wonder who's getting flowers?"  My boss required me to make some difficult phone calls for her and once I even had to run after a customer who "forgot" to pay.  Some of the things I had to do would have been a cake walk to other people.  They were mountains for me.  But, the thing about mountains is that once you've conquered them they become monuments, things we can look back on as battles fought and won.  Every victory is a step higher.   

 

Only a few weeks ago I was talking with a co-worker.  It was a rather deep discussion and at one point I referred to myself as "Shy.” 
She looked at me in disbelief.  "You are NOT shy!"
I stared at her blankly.  "Well, I am…" 
She shook her head. "Well, I've never thought of you as shy. I mean, you're quiet and you're certainly not a big talker, but you're friendly and you certainly don't ACT shy!" 
I was still perplexed.  I'd worked with this woman for almost 7 years.  Could she really not know?  "I am shy... I always have been..."  
She continued to stare at me "Well.  You certainly cover it well!"

And that's when I realized the truth.  I'm really not nearly as shy as I used to be and my self-confidence is really SO much better.  I still don't like crowds of people.  I'm still a horrible conversationalist.  I'm good at listening, but really not good at talking myself.  I'd still much rather be alone with my own thoughts than at a party and I still don't like anyone to look at me.  I'll always be that way.  But, I've learned to cover it well.  I've learned to "fake it."  And it's made a huge difference in my life.  I'm not an expert.  I still struggle with self-confidence.  I still cry at night when I'm feeling 2 inches tall.  I still don't have a lot of social skills that most people don't ever have to learn because they just come naturally.

But, there are a few things I've learned that help me get through a day at least faking self-confidence.  :) 

 

 

• Don't beat yourself up, especially for the sake of humor.  While it may cause people to chuckle at the time it's really not worth it in the long run.  And it sends a message like a flashing neon sign "REBECCA IS OK TO PICK ON."  A fellow IDDiot and I were talking the other day about making disparaging remarks about ourselves in order to lighten the mood and make a conversation.  Here's what I said   "[We] need to develop [our] self confidence and present [our] self-confidence... I don't really know how to describe this. This is something that I have FINALLY started learning how to do. There are still times when I cower and feel like everyone around me is SO much more accomplished, intelligent, etc... and there were/still are plenty of times when I made a conversation out of my inadequacy. Why did I do that to myself? Desperate for something to say, I guess and having nothing to say, without sounding stupid I just kind of announced my stupidity... ??"  Girls, please, please don't do this to yourselves.  You are worthy of being praised. 

 

• Learn your strengths and depend on them.  It's never okay to ignore our weaknesses but it's certainly not necessary to hide our strengths.  Work on your weaknesses.  Meanwhile, put your best foot forward. If you find yourself in a conversation that's out of your depth, don't be discouraged or draw attention to your inability.  Instead, learn what you can from it and speak up when you can it's a subject familiar to you.  Don't let your weaknesses overshadow your strengths!  Make it the other way around!

 

• Smile.  Even if you're quaking inside, even if you'd rather be anywhere rather than where you are.  A smile is the universal sign of friendship.  If you don't say a word your smile will still make an impact. 

 

• The secret to dealing with a lack of self-confidence is Don't Let Anyone Else Know!  Acting can be your best friend.  In the movie Wives and Daughters, Cynthia says, "The French girls would tell you that to believe that you are pretty would make you so."  There's a lot of truth in that statement.  A woman who thinks of herself as beautiful will act beautiful.  She will take extra care with her clothes, hair and makeup.  She will cultivate her beauty.  Similarly, acting confident (even when you are not) will give you a confidence.  Or, at the very least, it will give everyone else the idea that you are!  

 

• Remember that God is confident in you, His creation, even if you are not.

• I'll let you in on another secret.  You're most likely the ONLY person that knows that you're self-conscious and awkward feeling.  I often think that EVERYONE must be able to see how awkward I am, but the truth is people don't really notice as much as you think they do.  If you start focusing on others all the time and stop focusing on your own failings you'll find yourself much more relaxed in social situations.

 

• As Oscar Wilde said "Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken."

Take it one step at a time. Don’t expect to change from shy to outgoing overnight. It takes time and practice. It’s worth it in the long run, though.