Self Confidence (or The Lack Thereof)

I've struggled with low self-confidence my entire life.  I'm a natural introvert.  As a child I was never more than an arms reach away from my mom and often so close behind her that if she stopped suddenly I would run into her.  If someone spoke to me I answered in monosyllables and hid my face.  When I was eleven we joined a Bible club at a local church.  I cried and my mom had to stay with me the whole first night.  Even at age 18 I made multiple excuses not to make phone calls.  I was terrified to use the phone.  I stayed home when I was invited to parties with excuses of "headaches.  Actually, the truth wasn't far off.  I got instant headaches at the thought of socialization.  There were times that I cried for hours before going to a social gathering merely because I didn't want anyone to look at me.  If they looked at me I knew they would know what a failure I was.     

When I went to work at the flower shop I had to do major overcoming.  I had to drive to people's houses and knock on their doors!  Let me tell you, though, when you walk into an office building carrying a bouquet of flowers EVERYONE looks at you.  But, surprisingly they aren't thinking "Who is that strange girl and what is her problem?"  They're thinking "OOOO.... I wonder who's getting flowers?"  My boss required me to make some difficult phone calls for her and once I even had to run after a customer who "forgot" to pay.  Some of the things I had to do would have been a cake walk to other people.  They were mountains for me.  But, the thing about mountains is that once you've conquered them they become monuments, things we can look back on as battles fought and won.  Every victory is a step higher.   

 

Only a few weeks ago I was talking with a co-worker.  It was a rather deep discussion and at one point I referred to myself as "Shy.” 
She looked at me in disbelief.  "You are NOT shy!"
I stared at her blankly.  "Well, I am…" 
She shook her head. "Well, I've never thought of you as shy. I mean, you're quiet and you're certainly not a big talker, but you're friendly and you certainly don't ACT shy!" 
I was still perplexed.  I'd worked with this woman for almost 7 years.  Could she really not know?  "I am shy... I always have been..."  
She continued to stare at me "Well.  You certainly cover it well!"

And that's when I realized the truth.  I'm really not nearly as shy as I used to be and my self-confidence is really SO much better.  I still don't like crowds of people.  I'm still a horrible conversationalist.  I'm good at listening, but really not good at talking myself.  I'd still much rather be alone with my own thoughts than at a party and I still don't like anyone to look at me.  I'll always be that way.  But, I've learned to cover it well.  I've learned to "fake it."  And it's made a huge difference in my life.  I'm not an expert.  I still struggle with self-confidence.  I still cry at night when I'm feeling 2 inches tall.  I still don't have a lot of social skills that most people don't ever have to learn because they just come naturally.

But, there are a few things I've learned that help me get through a day at least faking self-confidence.  :) 

 

 

• Don't beat yourself up, especially for the sake of humor.  While it may cause people to chuckle at the time it's really not worth it in the long run.  And it sends a message like a flashing neon sign "REBECCA IS OK TO PICK ON."  A fellow IDDiot and I were talking the other day about making disparaging remarks about ourselves in order to lighten the mood and make a conversation.  Here's what I said   "[We] need to develop [our] self confidence and present [our] self-confidence... I don't really know how to describe this. This is something that I have FINALLY started learning how to do. There are still times when I cower and feel like everyone around me is SO much more accomplished, intelligent, etc... and there were/still are plenty of times when I made a conversation out of my inadequacy. Why did I do that to myself? Desperate for something to say, I guess and having nothing to say, without sounding stupid I just kind of announced my stupidity... ??"  Girls, please, please don't do this to yourselves.  You are worthy of being praised. 

 

• Learn your strengths and depend on them.  It's never okay to ignore our weaknesses but it's certainly not necessary to hide our strengths.  Work on your weaknesses.  Meanwhile, put your best foot forward. If you find yourself in a conversation that's out of your depth, don't be discouraged or draw attention to your inability.  Instead, learn what you can from it and speak up when you can it's a subject familiar to you.  Don't let your weaknesses overshadow your strengths!  Make it the other way around!

 

• Smile.  Even if you're quaking inside, even if you'd rather be anywhere rather than where you are.  A smile is the universal sign of friendship.  If you don't say a word your smile will still make an impact. 

 

• The secret to dealing with a lack of self-confidence is Don't Let Anyone Else Know!  Acting can be your best friend.  In the movie Wives and Daughters, Cynthia says, "The French girls would tell you that to believe that you are pretty would make you so."  There's a lot of truth in that statement.  A woman who thinks of herself as beautiful will act beautiful.  She will take extra care with her clothes, hair and makeup.  She will cultivate her beauty.  Similarly, acting confident (even when you are not) will give you a confidence.  Or, at the very least, it will give everyone else the idea that you are!  

 

• Remember that God is confident in you, His creation, even if you are not.

• I'll let you in on another secret.  You're most likely the ONLY person that knows that you're self-conscious and awkward feeling.  I often think that EVERYONE must be able to see how awkward I am, but the truth is people don't really notice as much as you think they do.  If you start focusing on others all the time and stop focusing on your own failings you'll find yourself much more relaxed in social situations.

 

• As Oscar Wilde said "Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken."

Take it one step at a time. Don’t expect to change from shy to outgoing overnight. It takes time and practice. It’s worth it in the long run, though.

Remains of V-Day

I make GOOD messes

    

                                      

February 11, 2010

I've been busy, Oh so busy
It's amazing how busy I feel!

(Yes, I've been listening to the West Side Story soundtrack.  And, yes, Hayley Westenra is the best Maria ever. No contest.) 

Anyway.

BIG NEWS!

My new laptop has arrived!   And I've been busy, oh so busy, *ahem* playing with it.
Windows 7 has my thumbs up, by the way.  Not that my thumbs up really counts for anything at all.

I named the new laptop Riley.  Because I name things. And because... RILEY!  *grins*

Other things that have been keeping me busy are as follows and in no particular order:

• Writing (mostly for the IDD blog)
• Valentine's Day. 
• Keeping my house clean.  Explain this to me.  We're gone most of the day. Which means we aren't home to mess it up.  And yet, there is ALWAYS housework to do.  Why is this?  I conclude that either
• a) We are VERY messy when we ARE at home.  or 
• b) it has something to do with the second law of thermodynamics. 
• It may in fact, be both reasons.  And the first reason may be because of the second reason.  But, I don't know for sure, because I am not a physicist.  I'm a florist.  And the flower shop is pretty messy this time of year too.  But that's because of, like I said V-Day.  Or, the second law of thermodynamics.  Hmmmm..... This is obviously proof that the second law of the thermodynamics is directly related to Valentine's and that all florists should moonlight as astro-physicists.  
• I completely messed up my iTunes library and iPod and all that in my attempt to transfer my iTunes library to my new computer without the help or supervision of Katie.  I was trying to be smart and not bug her.  Ended up looking not smart and bugging her anyway.  
• Reading the Fitzwilliam Darcy books.  Only a couple of breaks to read Agatha Christie.  Has anyone read the Darcy books?  
• Itching for spring!!!  I ordered some flower seeds... they came in the mail... I was so excited I couldn't sleep that night because I was trying to plan my garden in my head.  But, obviously, I won't be able to actually get out and start working for at least another 6-8 weeks so it's all like some kind of cruel joke I'm playing on myself.  *sigh*

Well, I think that's all for now.  Have to get going to the flower shop and as my mom says "Make pretty flowers!"  for all of those lovers and sweethearts out there.  Do you think I will ever have a sweetheart?  I'm beginning to doubt... But, that's usual for this time of year...  

I was called Hyacinth Clare...

   

On Books and Life

   There are those who say that 

life is like a book, 

with chapters for each event in your life 

and a 

limited number of pages 

on which you can spend your time. 

But I prefer to think that

a book is like a life,

particularly a good one, 

which is  

well worth staying up

all night to finish.
- Lemony Snicket

My New Ride

   
Ok, this isn't actually MY car.  This is a picture I pulled off the internet.  I didn't want to take a picture of my car, because it's really dirty right now (because I live in Wisconsin and it's February).  And, it's difficult to take a good picture without getting the liscense plate in the picture.  And also, my computer doesn't like my sister's camera, so getting pictures off the camera onto my computer is like a 5 step process.  (I exaggerate.  Maybe only 3 steps.) 
Anyway.  This is my new car.  It's a Ford Escape.  'And it is RED.'  (points to whoever knows what movie I just quoted.) 
I absolutely LOVE it.  It's my dream car. 
I named her Dawn Treader.  :)

Proverbs 31:13

      She seeketh wool, and flax,

and worketh willingly 

with her hands

 -Proverbs 31:13

The main part of this verse that caught my eye was "She worketh WILLINGLY with her hands."  Probably every one of us is familiar with that ancient saying "A man will work from sun to sun, but a woman's work is never done."  I have my doubts whether or not this saying is really true of the sexes in general.  I've met men who never stop and woman who like to take plenty of breaks.  :) 

Regardless, every single woman in this world, married or single, mother, sister or grandmother has more than enough projects, jobs, etc. (feel free to fill in the blank here with whatever it is that keeps YOU busy) to distract her every minute of every day.  How many of us have moaned for the luxury of 36 hours in a day instead of 24?  In fact, I'm pretty sure we were having a conversation along these exact lines on the IDD forum just the other day.  :)  I'm convinced however that whether we were given 36 hours a day or even 48 every single one of us would remain just as busy and behind on our "to-do" lists as we are now. 

Here's why:  From the minute I wake up in the morning, and often even before I've woken up in the morning, I am planning my day.  I wake up with a list in my head entitled Things To Get Done Today.  I get out of bed and before I've even washed my face the list has grown.  It goes like this:  On my walk to the bathroom I add Sweep Kitchen Floor and Make Coffee.  As I'm putting on my makeup and brushing my teeth I mentally add Buy a New Toothbrush, Look at Garden Plan, Save Money, Wash Towels and Talk to Mom about This Weekend. All of this is before I've even poured my coffee or eaten breakfast.  As soon as I open the refrigerator to get out the milk I start adding things to the Grocery section of my list and planning dinner.  I check my e-mail during breakfast (Three cheers for multi-tasking!!) and start adding more things to the list Pay Insurance, Write a Blog Post, Check on Library Books Due Dates, Water Plants.  If I'm feeling super organized I might even pull out my phone and start putting my list into a drafted text message that I keep for this exact purpose.  But, honestly, the thoughts come faster than I can put them into my phone and realistically I can't walk around with my phone in my hand all day long adding things to my list.  I walk to my car and the list grows.  Get Gas, Take Out Garbage, Practice Piano.  I arrive at work and my "Home" list retires to a "Look at Later" file and my "Work" list comes out.  Re-cut Flowers, Clean Roses, Order Plants, FIND MORE PENS, Clean vases, Call Other Shop....  During the day I think of people and add their names to my "Call and See How They're Doing List."  But, who has time for an hour long conversation with each of those 25 people?  I'll be perfectly honest.  By the time I've arrived home at the end of the day I've forgetten 80% of the things on the list, and of the remaining 20% maybe 5% of THOSE actually get done.  I fall into bed and try to sleep as the image of my "Things to Get Done Today" list haunts me with it's lack of check marks.  Imagine how it would be if we had 48 hours to spend thinking of things to do?  I, for one, would definitely be just as behind on my projected goals as I am now.  Maybe more so.
 


This is the life of a young, single woman with no husband to think of and no children to care for, and supposedly plenty of energy.  I'm not trying to give you the impression that I work uber-hard and deserve a vacation in Hawaii.  (Although that would be nice...)  As a matter of fact, I'm really trying to show you how discouraging it is to NOT get things done.  I, of course, take the lions share of the blame for things not getting done.  I could be more efficient.  I could prioritize better.  I could be less selfish and choose to spend my time doing the things that I know need to be done but I don't really want to do.  I could probably sacrifice an hour of sleep. 

Above all, I could have a better attitude.  That's all I'm really trying to say here.  The Virtuous Woman WORKS.  It's true.  But, more importantly, she works WILLINGLY.  You've heard the saying "Attitude is everything"?  It's absolutely true.  I would be willing to bet that I could sweep the floor faster and more efficiently if I have a good attitude versus sweeping the floor with a bad attitude.  If I go through my day with a willing heart I'll probably remember more of the things on my list.  I'll probably get more of them done and I'll definitely be a better example, a better employee, better sister and all around a better person to know.  On the flip side, if I scowl and complain about everything I do, I'll probably talk myself out of doing things, be less productive and no one will want to be around me. 

A woman's work is never done.  And, according to Proverbs 31, the Virtous Woman is WILLING to shoulder that burden.  Something every single one of us can work on every single done.  Because as long as there's work to be done, there can and should be a willing attitude to go along with it. 

January Book List

 1. Lord Edgeware Dies by Agatha Christie (****)  Pretty good.  I did think the answer seemed obvious, but...  maybe not.  :)

2. As You Like It by William Shakespeare (****)  I'm helping my brother with his Shakespeare class.  (rephrase that:  He and I reading Shakespeare together IS the "class")  Tons of fun!

3. Peril at End House by Agatha Christie (****)  I love the surprise ending of this one.  :)

4. Jeeves and the Tie That Binds by P.G. Wodehouse (****)  Cute and funny.  Wodehouse is some kind of genius. 

5. An Old Fashioned Girl by Louisa May Alcott (*****)  Such a sweet story.  The very beginning and the end are best.  This is another book that I find myself grinning like a fool as I read the end.  *sappy sigh*

6. Hattie Big Sky by Kirby Larson (*****) I absolutely LOVED this book.  And for so many reasons.  Some of which I can't tell you because it would be giving away the whole story.  It is an excellently written, beautiful, touching story of a 16 year old girl proving up a homestead claim by herself.  A true coming of age story and I absolutely loved it.  I cried for both grief and joy.  Based on the homesteading experience of an actual young girl named Hattie Inez Brooks.  Read her story.  You will love it. 

7.  Horseradish, Bitter Truths You Can't Avoid by Lemony Snicket- (****)  If you like Lemony Snicket, you'll love his Horseradish.  Quite cunning.  :)

8.  Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse -(****)  Pretty funny.  :)

9.  Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman, An Assembly Such as This by Pamela Aiden- (***) This is my second time reading this series and I have to admit it's not quite as fun the second time around.  I feel like Aiden has a hard time filling the dead spaces in Austen's work and has to make up what Darcy is doing meanwhile.  There are too many passages that tell us in minute detail exactly how Darcy is training his dog or practicing fencing...  Anyway, I did like the book and I already checked out the sequel from the library. 

10.  The Golden Ball and other stories by Agatha Christie - (**)  Mostly ghost stories.  Not really my thing. 

11.   Poirot Loses a Client by Agatha Christie- (****)  I think this plot survives only because Christie is such an amazing writer.  She tells us EVERYTHING we need to know but in such a way that we all read ourselves right into the wrong ideas.  Amazing.

12.  Fitzwilliam Darcy, Gentleman, Duty and Desire by Pamela Aiden (***)  I like these books for several various reasons.  The whole concept of Pride and Prejudice from Darcy's point of view is interesting.  Also, I like the history and how we learn about the life of a gentleman in this time period and that's interesting too.  This book is a little different from the other two in the series.  Aiden is a bit at a loss for material since at this point chronologically in P&P we have no idea what Darcy is doing.  She spends the first half of the book with Darcy at Pemberly with Georgianna, his family, in London... all very nice and Darcy-like.  The second half of the book however takes a very non-Austen like turn and, while it's a not bad plot, and quite engaging, I have to say it really doesn't seem very Darcy-ish.  Anyway, in my opinion, Aiden should've left all of that out and made the series only two books rather than three.  The secondary plot could easily have been expanded to a full length novel perhaps featuring a different main character?  I don't know. Just my opinion.  I do like Fletcher.  :)

13.  The Feminine Minority, A Brief History of Feminism and the Modern Woman by Patricia Regar- (***)  As history lessons go, this book is phenomenal.  It's a clear, well-formulated look at the birth of the Feminist Movement.  The author makes some conclusions regarding the modern woman that I don't completely agree with, but I found the history very interesting and thought provoking.  I've had some good conversations on the subject brought on by reading this book.

14.  One, Two Buckle My Shoe by Agatha Christie- (****)  Another good Christie... :)  It amuses me that so many of her mysteries are inspired by nursery rhymes. 

I'm posting merely for the sake of posting

   I feel a little guilty for my lack of post-age lately, so here's a totally random one for you. Maybe it will just go to prove how little I have to talk about...

• I got a new car about a month ago.  I don't know if I mentioned that here...  comment and tell me if you want to see pictures or if you really don't care...
• Last weekend was spent at the Kalahari hotel and resort in the Wisconsin Dells.  Tons of fun, waterpark, etc (I don't really swim and actually didn't even bring a swimming suit... but, the kids had fun!) The trip was a Christmas present from Grandma and Grandpa, YAY!
• Our family has 8 licensed drivers and 7 cars and we STILL have to do car swapping and intricate plans involving who will drive who where and who will pick up who's car and swap keys, etc.  Strange, no?
• It is 9 degrees right now in Southern Wisconsin.  Up from 0 this morning.  Oh happy, frigid day.  
• I believe I have spring fever.
• Is it too early to order seeds for the garden?  
• At the risk of sounding like a very extravagant girl... I also just bought a new laptop.  Tuppence (my old laptop) is decidedly an "Old Thing" and is ready to retire.  I ordered my new laptop and it should be here in a week or so, I'm thinking.  I'm so excited it's almost ridiculous.  
• And.....  
• That's all, folks. 
  

Chocolate Swap!

 QUICK!

Go over to the IDD Blog RIGHT NOW and sign up for the CHOCOLATE SWAP!!!

I can tell you from experience it's the highlight of the year!  And you only have a few more days to sign up!  Hope to see you over there!  Maybe we'll be swapping chocolate!

Christa Taylor

Why is there such a lack of fashionable, feminine, MODEST clothing?

Ever felt the frustration?  I think all of us have asked this question at one time or another.  Meet someone who has actually DONE something about it.
 

Christa-Taylor is an online company devoted to providing cute, fashionable clothes for the modesty-conscious crowd.  :) In her own words "...Feminine and beautiful without compromising self respect and dignity." You can read more about how the company started and all about Christa Taylor HERE.

To start with I want to say that Christa-Taylor is not paying me to talk about her company.  She didn't send me any free products.  Everything I've ordered from Christa-Taylor has been purchased with my own money.  I happen to think that they have a great mission and I think their clothes are cute so I don't mind supporting them one bit! By the way Christa-Taylor donates 5% of every purchase to Warm Blankets Orphan Care International. which is pretty cool. 

I've ordered from them several times and every time I've been very pleased with my purchases.  I bought my winter coat from Christa-Taylor, and I wear it EVERYWHERE and get compliments on it all the time.  In fact, just today a random lady I walked by stopped me to tell she loved my coat.  

Their shipping is super fast, I always receive my order in two to three days.  Look at these sweet dresses I just bought!

Blue Best Friend Dress
I don't care if it is the middle of winter.  I wore this dress to church last Sunday with tights, a cardigan sweater and boots.  I LOVED it!

Vintage Dot Dress This one, I admit isn't exactly in my color scheme...  But, I don't care.  It's so adorable, I had to get it anyway!

Christa-Taylor also has a BLOG that she updates usually once or twice a week full of fashion and beauty advice that I highly recommend you check out.  Right now she's got an awesome post up about how to shape and maintain your eyebrows.  :) Every girl needs to know how to do this!

I hope you check out Christa-Taylor and find something you like!

What I Want to Be When I Grow Up

  
Every high school student knows those dreaded words “So, what are you doing after high school?”

*balk*

*gulp*

*scream*

Choosing a career path can be a daunting, scary and in all honesty, (let’s face it) an IMPOSSIBLE thing to do.  At age eighteen my chosen career path was “Wife and Mother.”  I was raring and ready to go.  One teeny-tiny problem: “Wife and Mother”  is one of those joint-partnership occupations, it goes hand-in-hand with “Husband and Father” and the “Husband and Father” division of the corporation was conspicuously absent.

So, maybe, I decided I should look at some alternate career options.  Something just to pass the time, you know?

I’ll just be honest and come totally clean here.  That was me ten years ago, and it’s basically still me.  Passing the time…

Don’t get me wrong.  I haven’t been completely idle.  In fact, I don’t think I’ve been idle at all.  I’ve worshipped while I’m waiting done everything I could think to do while I’m waiting, and I’ve been happy and fulfilled.

But, my future is still out there, Gigantic and Unknown and getting closer and closer.  I’m still looking at career options.  Of course, my first choice is still my first choice, and if it becomes available I’ll jump in with both feet.  Meanwhile I continue to search and pray and be led.

There are a lot of well meaning people that have tried to help.

“You should be a teacher.”

“You should be a writer.”

“You should be a makeup artist.”

“You should be a chef.”

Oh, incidentally, I want to say that I LOVE getting these suggestions, so I’m not saying that people shouldn’t offer up ideas.  Please, if you have an idea let me know!  It’s fun to think of the possibilities and I have certainly given my share of career opinions to other people. 



At age eighteen, one person made a career suggestion to me that I am ashamed to say I rolled my eyes at.

“You should be a Virtuous Woman.”

Come on, really?  That’s not a career!

(Almost) Ten years later I look back at my younger self and I have to disagree.  Virtuous Woman is the ultimate career.

It’s the job that, if done properly and wholeheartedly will make any other path you walk successful.  The Virtuous Woman radiates success, accomplishment, wisdom, education, self-confidence, beauty, happiness, kindness, love.  All the things that we all want and need in our lives.


Ten years ago I had two opinions about the Virtuous Woman.


A) That she was abstract and unattainable.

and

B) That she was an overused stereotype.  And I didn't want to be a stereotype.  I wanted to be DIFFERENT.


Silly me.  Of course I'm going to be different.  God created only one me.  I'm certainly not going to be like anyone else.  What I failed to realize was that  working to become a Virtuous Woman wouldn't interfere with developing my individuality.  Rather, the opposite.  Being a Virtuous Woman gives us the tools we need to become the best versions of ourselves.  The career path of Virtuous Womanhood is created by God to bring us to our full potentials in Him.


The IDD Blog is going to publishing over the next few weeks an insightful, topic by topic look at the Virtuous Woman.  We want to encourage every young lady to make Virtuous Womanhood her goal, and we hope to offer practical advice on how to apply these principles to you own life.


We want to stress that even though The Virtuous Woman is described as a Wife and Mother that we believe that a single female supporting herself has just as much chance of achieving Virtuous Woman status as a married woman.  It's never too early or late to start!

Helping Haiti

When I was growing up there was a little cup woven out of grasses sitting in our bathroom.  It had a little flower on it and the word "Haiti."  I remember clearly the day we got that little cup.  The person who gave it to us said "Every time you see this, PRAY for Haiti."  I was so young at the time, but I remember it so clearly.  I don't think I did pray for Haiti every time I saw that little cup, or smelled the potpourri my Mom put in it.  But, I did see it often, and I did pray often.

The last few days after hearing the horrendous reports and seeing the heart breaking pictures of the destruction in Haiti, that little cup has been forefront in my mind.  I see it everywhere now.  And I'm always praying for Haiti.

Imagine not knowing where your children are.  Imagine having no home, no water, no food, surrounded by death...  

What can we do to help?

There are many organizations you can donate food and money too.  There's a list of them at the above link.

If none of those work for you I suggest finding a local church that might be doing a food and clothing drive.  Donate your time to help them sort and pack supplies. Or donate money.  $5 can go a long way.  Maybe you have some extra canned goods laying around.  Extra clothes?  Go to Goodwill and fill a bag for people in Haiti who have nothing.  Or, just a bottle of Tylenol, or a case of water could make a huge difference in someone's life.

I encourage you to do whatever you can for Haiti.  Even if it's just a little thing, DO it.

As JJ Heller says:

I'll be praying for the widow

All alone, sewing clothes for a loaf of bread

It is not my fault that she is hungry

It's my joy to make sure she's fed.

It's the little things that make a difference

It's the little things that show love

It's the little things 

A simple cup of water

That can change the world

That can save our sons and daughters

And above all.  PRAY for Haiti.  Put "Haiti" on your refrigerator, computer, or phone.  Somewhere you'll see it all the time.  (Maybe a cup in your bathroom?) And pray for the people of Haiti.

No News is No News

I realize I've been somewhat absent lately.  I have no excuse.  Just simply "No news is no news."

Here's some Lemony Snicket for you... to explain what I'm trying to say. 

   Of all the ridiculous expressions people use

--and people use a great many ridiculous expressions--

one of the most ridiculous is 

"No news is good news." 

"No news is good news" simply means that if you don't hear from someone, 

everything is probably fine, 

and you can see at once why this expression makes such little sense, 

because everything being fine is only one of 

many, many reasons why someone may not contact you. 

Perhaps they are tied up. 

Maybe they are surrounded by fierce weasels, 

or perhaps they are wedged tightly between two refrigerators and cannot get themselves out. 

The expression might as well be changed to 

"no news is bad news," 

except that people may not be able to contact you because they have 

just been crowned king 

or are competing in a gymnastics tournament. 

The point is that there is 

no way to know why someone has not contacted you, 

until they contact you and explain themselves. 

For this reason, the sensible expression would be 

"no news is no news," 

except that it is so obvious that it is 

hardly an expression at all. 

- Lemony Snicket

LiveJournal

   Are any of my blog readers on LiveJournal? 

I have a journal over there and I'd be happy to add any of you as friends.  My LJ is exclusively private entries, but if you leave me a comment asking to be my friend I'll add you! 

You can find me at Flowershopgirl's LiveJournal

Happy Journaling!

GIVEAWAY WINNERS!!!

   *DRUM ROLL*

1st prize (Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis)

MERRILL from Bright as The Sea!

2nd prize (JJ Heller's Pretty and the Plain)

SARAH from ADORKABLE

3rd Prize (Scarf)

MORIAH from Joy Like An Ocean

Congrats to the winners!  Please send me an e-mail at flowershopgirlblog@gmail.com with your address and I will send out your prizes asap.

Thanks everyone who participated and looking forward to a fantastic 2010!

P.S. One of my commenters asked if I was the one that posted the YouTube video of Kristin Chenoweth singing The Girl in 14G.  I did.  :)  Here's the link

LIVE

 I am inspired by Nichole Nordeman's song "Live."

Did you come that we might just survive?
Did you come so we could just get by?

Did you walk among us
So we might merely limp along beside?

I don't want to "just survive."  And I don't think I was ever meant to just survive.  There's so much more to life than that.

I want to thrive.   I want to be the best version of myself.  I want to take every opportunity given to me, whether it looks like one or not, and I want to grow.  

I don't think I'm asking the impossible or building ivory towers.  I choose to believe that I was created for great things.  That I was meant not to just survive, or just get by.  


I believe I was meant to LIVE.


 

You make me want to live...
You came to shake us
And to wake us up to something more
Than we'd always settled for
And you make me want to live

It is because of Christ's great love for me that I want to live. 

It is through submission to His great love for me that I can live.  

If, without Him I am nothing... than is it not equally true that WITH Him is my greatest potential?

"...We have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, 

and we gave them reverence: 

shall we not much rather 

be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, 

and live?"

 Hebrew 12:9

Never give up.

Never back down.

Never despise the chastening.

Learn to grow.

And as Ralph Waldo Emerson said

"Without halting, without rest, 

lifting better up to best."

The Best of 2009 GIVEAWAY!

 On the first morning of 2010 I snuggled up on my sofa with a cup of coffee and Tuppence (my laptop).  I looked over my blog entries from 2009 and revisted the whole year through my own words and pictures.  I remembered things I'd forgotten, and laughed again and cried again.

I've been wanting to do another giveaway here for you guys, kind of a thank you for sticking around and continuing to read my ramblings.

SO, I had this idea.  :)

I'm going to do a "Best of 2009" themed giveaway.

Here's how it works:

I'll be giving away three, THREE!!! prizes.  Essentially, my FAVORITES from 2009.

Prize #1.  Hands down the best book I read in 2009. :) C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity

Prize #2.  My favorite CD from 2009.  The one that played over and over and over in my car.  Most played tracks on my iPod.  :)  JJ Heller's Pretty and the Plain.

Prize #3.  Favorite Fashion Accessory from 2009.  This is a tough one, but I DID wear a lot of scarfs this past year... :)  So, I picked out a pretty one at
So, here's what YOU do.

 I want YOU to look back over the flowershopgirl blog 2009 entries.  I want to know what post YOU think was the BEST of 2009.  It can be any post.  A book list, Dr, Jak, Crazy ramble, whatever....  Leave me a comment telling me which entry you thought was the BEST.
You can enter twice by giving me a shoutout on your own blog or LJ.  Just let me know you did it.  :)

I'll leave this open for entries until midnight Friday, January 8th, 2010, and draw and post the names of the winners on Saturday, January 9th, 2010.

I'll draw the names out of a hat and the prizes will be awarded in order 1, 2, 3.  You are only eligible to win one prize.  If you enter twice and I draw your name for the 1st and 2nd prize than I'll re-draw for the 2nd prize. 

Have fun guys!  I can't wait to see all the comments!!!

AND HAVE A GREAT 2010!!!

December Books 2009

Well, I started out 2009 with the goal of Keeping Track of How Many Books I Read and rating them with a 5 star system.  AND writing a little snippet of my thoughts on each one.  


I am thrilled to bring you the final installment of my year in books!  


I read 128 books.  I loved most of them.  What a great year.  :)



118. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott -(*****)  Five stars because I love, LOVE this book.  I really do.  It's such a comfort read for me.  It makes me happy! :)

119.  Good Wives by Louisa May Alcott -(****) Almost as good as Little Women.  I say "almost" because a certain character dies...(I'm sure you all know EXACTLY who I'm talking about).  And every time I read it my heart breaks all over again.  This time around I was sobbing into a paper towel (couldn't find a kleenex) and when my sister walked in and made some remark that brought a fresh burst of tears, she felt guilty and offered me two chocolate kisses as a peace offering.  I wailed "What good is chocolate?!?!?  Beth still dies every time I read this book!"  *sniff*  *shudder*

120.  The Secret Adversary by Agatha Christie (*****)  It must be my month for comfort reads.  This was my very first ever Agatha Christie book several years ago.  I read it, and promptly was hooked.  It's still in my top ten.  I LOVE Tommy and Tuppence.  I secretly want to be Tuppence.  I named my computer Tuppence.  Once I was delighted for a whole day because my mom said I was being very "sleuth-like" and reminding her of "That one Agatha Christie detective that Francesca Anis plays."  Um, TUPPENCE!!!  YEAH!

121.  Every Storm by Lori Wick- (**) Well, I was in the mood for a fluff read and I definitely got it.  Ho hum.  Back in my teens I read a lot of Lori Wick's Christian Romance novels, but even then I think I knew they weren't so fabulous.  *sigh*  Her writing style is monotonous, jerky and bland.  I'm not sure how she manages to sell so many books.  Actually, I do know.  It's because the Christian book market is so...  limited?  Very disappointing.  The story itself isn't bad.  If another author had taken it in hand I might even have loved the story.  It has a lot of good elements and some potential.  Set in the 1940s which I *heart* but it feels very modern and I often forgot that I was reading something supposedly "vintage."  Oh well... 

122.  Little Men- (***)  Very sweet and vignette-ish.  Not as engaging as Little Women but still a happy sequel.  Daisy and Demi are my faves.  :)


 123.  Skating Shoes by Noel Streatfeild- (***) I wasn't as enchanted by this book as I have been by Noel Streatfeild's other books that I've read.  Part of it may be the edition I was reading.  Yearling reprinted it in 2009 and I was (to say the least) VERY disappointed in the quality.  Not only are the materials cheaper than cheap and the print hard to read there were SO many grammatical errors that my reading experience was somewhat cautious.  I didn't count how many times there was a period in the middle of the sentence, or no quotations around someone's words or no capital letter at the beginning of a sentence.  But, by the time I'd found 5 mistakes in the first 50 pages of the book I was pretty disgusted.  I even entertained thoughts of marking the mistakes in red pen and sending the whole book back to the Yearling company to let them know what I thought of their quality of workmanship.  It's more disappointing than I can say that I spent $6.99 on a brand new book with mistakes every 4 or 5 pages, when I could buy a used copy of the same book printed in 1962 for $2 and it would be in 10 times better condition. 

124.  Going Rogue by Sarah Palin -(*****)  If I was a Palin fan before reading her book, I'm 10 times more so now.  Politics aside, she has a gripping narrative style of writing that made the 410 pages go by pretty fast.  Plenty of humor mixed in with the straight talk.  I like her views and the way she expresses them.  She's a REAL person. 

125.  Jo's Boys by Louisa May Alcott- (***)  Sequel to Little Men.  Sweet, like all Alcott's works, but not my favorite. 

126.  Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie -(****)  I love Peter Pan.  I love the imagery of J.M. Barrie's words. 

127.  Carry On, Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse- (*****)  Very entertaining! 

128.  The Winslow Boy by Terrence Rattigan (*****)  Technically this is a play, but it came in book form, so I'm counting it.  Such a good story.  And absolutely true which is the best part.  I love all the different dimensions in this story.  On the surface it's a Father and Daughter fighting for their Son/Brother's honor.  Fighting for justice.  But, after the fight has gone on for over a year and the family has made so many sacrifices, some of them, as the Father says "[sacrifices] I had no right to make," the fight turns into much more.  Is it just stubborn resolve and pride?  Or, is it a fight for justice?  It's even more than just justice.  They fight to "Let Right Be Done."  I love this play.  There's also a movie, which was my first introduction to this story. 

Reading it this time reminded me of the first time I ever read this play.  My sister Susie and I were bored and decided to read it out loud.  We split the parts evenly between us and had a blast!  Laughing for the first time over the humor...  The best part was when Susie was Reading Sir Robert Morton (lawyer) cross examine Ronnie (Winslow Boy).  Both parts.  If I remember correctly I laughed during the first page and had pity by taking over one of the parts for the next three pages.  Good times.  Good story. 

The New Year

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.'

And he replied,
'Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!'

by Minnie Louise Harkins 1875-1957