Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Life Changing

it's amazing how fast life can change. I was working at Mom's this morning, doing computer work, filing paperwork, and such. I left to go to work at the flower shop at noon, where I immediately loaded up the station wagon and started delivering flowers. 10 minutes into delivering I noticed a missed call on my phone. HOME... so, I dialed the number back. I figured it wasn't anything big, since I had just been there 15 minutes ago.

Joe answered the phone: "Hello?"
Me: "Hey! somebody just called me?"
Joe: "Uh, yeah, mom did. here she is... oh, never mind. she can't talk right now."
Me: "ok... is everything ok?" (his voice sounded REALLY wierd...)
Joe: "no. it's not ok."
Me: "what's wrong??"
Joe: "You need to talk to mom, and she can't talk right now. bye."
*hangs up phone*

so.... I panicked. I was all the way on the other side of town from home and I spent the whole drive getting myself more and more worked up thinking about all of the terrible possibilites.

I had pretty much convinced myself something tragic had probably happened to one of the kids when I arrived home and saw Dad's truck parked half in the driveway, half in the street. I ran inside and was partially relieved to find Sarah Beth calmly eating lunch in her high chair.

I demanded that Joe tell me what had happened, and he did. My last living Great Grandma had just died. It was a blow. She hadn't been sick, and it was totally unexpected.

So, after holding mom for a while and trying to finish my deliveries without crying too much, I headed back to the shop, and punched out for the day.

And I just kept thinking about how fast things change. In the blink of an eye, out of the blue my whole world went careening crazily. I'll never forget that terror as I drove home KNOWING something terrible had happened. And the realization that our lives are not ours to control, and that everything can change in a second and we may never know what hit us.

I'm going to miss Grandma. I'm especially sad because she always told me she wanted to live to see Great Great Grandchildren, and I really wanted her to... It could have been possible.

But, I also know that she has been miserable since Great Grandpa died unexpectedly almost 2 years ago. So, I know they are happy again, together. My sisters and I laughed when we imagined them driving around to visit all of their friends in heaven, since that's exactly what they loved to do here on earth!

6 comments:

Serena said...

Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss! I'll be praying for your family.

Kourtney Ann said...

Oh you poor dear!!
I'm so sorry!!!
I'll be praying for your family

Kristi said...

I hope you and your family are doing better today. I talked with a few of your sisters yesterday and I've been praying for you all.
*sending a hug*

Valerie said...

Oh, I would have wanted to choke my brother if he'd left me hanging like that.

I'm sorry about your great-grandma Rebecca! It's wonderful to know you'll see her again though!

Katie said...

You know, I had the same thought. That I was sorry that Grandma never got to see her Great-Great Grandchildren. She should have had that honor.

Tricia said...

I am truly sorry, Rebecca. I had a similar thought when my grandfather died...I had wanted him so much to know my future husband. I had imagined them having conversations over so many terrific issues...I've started praying my other grandparents will live to meet my guy...

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